Rock Bottom

I reread my last post. Talk about blathering on like an idiot. To me, it makes little sense, and I wrote the bloody thing! So I apologise for that.

Still, it does sort of tell me that I hit a 'rock-bottom' point in my current state. Maybe not a total rock-bottom, more of a 'getting there' type, but a few things have happended this week that have put my own crap into perspective.

You see, a friend of mine returned home the other evening to find his flatmate and best friend dead. A drug overdose. He's convinced it was intentional too, and he's told me why. Forgive me for not giving you details, but its very private to him and the friend he has tragically lost.

Talk about getting a much needed kick up the arse!

I've spent the last few days talking with him. Right now he is in a 'blame' period. He is distraught. He believes things he said has contributed to his death. He is of course, wrong. Suicide is a selfish act, and done without consideration of the aftermath it leaves for other people to contend with. It is rarely done on the spur of the moment, and is always planned.

It has left a huge gaping chasm in his heart and soul. The small tear in mine is nothing by comparison.

I think I'm on the way back up!