How to Hurt People

I have a friend, or rather I should say I HAD a 'friend.

This person, I thought was my best friend. For years we were close as close could be. I was there through his relationship, at his wedding and finally, his coming out and subsequent end of his marriage. I even took part in a TV documentary about this whole process.

The one truly great thing that came of their relationship was their beautiful daughter. I cannot begin to describe the emotion that overcame me when I was asked to be godfather, proud as punch is not nearly a good enough description. Nor would it help any further, when I was asked not just to be godfather, but actual legal guardian should ever the need arise. This single act brought tears to my eyes, I was overwhelmed.

So thats the brief explanation of my relationship with my 'best friend'. Now this is not Gary I'm talking of, its someone else. Someone who I thought I could tell anything to. How can you be so wrong!

This person, lets call him Martin for the sake of a name, disapproved of my relationship with Russell. I could sort of understand his reasons, but still I expected support, as I had always given to him. It was not to be so. Within this, I also revealed something about myself, a recent complication within my own immediate circumstances.

Nothing wrong with that, is there? After all, don't friends talk and share what ails them? Well, that's what I believed anyway! Suffice to say, contact gradually reduced to a whisper, when before it had always been a shout! We went from daily contact and minimum twice weekly meetings to nothing, and I mean zilch! But the thing that hurt me most, was losing contact with my beautiful goddaughter.

After months of no contact, I bumped into him on Friday evening in a local Soho haunt. We were having such a good time, but my mood shifted almost instantly! He acted as though we had last spoken the day before, as if nothing had changed between us.

But what hurt most, was he showed me recent pictures of my goddaughter, the four year old who has changed so much in the last 6 months. The six months I've had to miss. I cannot tell you how much I cried inside whilst maintaining what I thought was my composure. My true friend Gary, could see instantly how upset I was!

Talk about putting the knife in and twisting it.

HARD!