Lazy?

Gosh. This one seems to be a hard one today. I want to write, but it seems so much is getting on top of me lately!

2006 it appears has been, so far, a shit year. I'm not going to go into too much of it, because some physical matters can be resolved as soon as I get off my arse!!!

You see, as well as currently fighting a depression, I also have to contend with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) . So double fun for me, or rather, not.

Trouble is, both SAD and depression both have a side affect which is a major problem. Lethargy!

It makes it incredibly difficult to actually motivate myself to do any more than actually get up in the mornings! When I had my big depression, which incidentally also involved a breakdown, I found myself crawling further and further under the quilt each day! My bitch of a boss, EH, could never understand that by turning into work, I'd managed to acheive something that was a major challenge over come!

But, it does me give time to try and reflect on the things that are happening in my life! Especially where men are concerned. Its becoming more and more apparent to me each day that its this issue that I need to come to terms with more than anything!

So right now, rightly or wrongly, I've made the decision that men are the last thing I need to think about. Whether it be past, present or future lovers, I need to let them go and stop being so desperate. Thankfully, the SAD and depression have also knocked my libido for six. I feel about as sexual as a snail in hibernation!

So I've come to my crossroads. A place I know stand in and have to decide which route I'm going to take. Shall it be the USA and escape to get my breathing space or stay and fight? Keep facing my demons and hope that I come out on top!

Either way, my demons will always be here, so for now, I'm edging toward stay and fight!